And then comes morning ...

We were all in shock yesterday as the events unfolded at the Boston Marathon. When bad things happen, we usually are shocked at first. Then we grieve. We hurt. We cry. We scream, "Why??" We pray. We help, and to quote the beloved Mr. Rogers, we "look for the helpers."

Since a few weeks prior to this, I've already been grieving and hurting and screaming about a loss that has rocked me to the very core and has broken my heart into millions of pieces that can't possibly be fully repaired. I'll write about that sometime, the sudden passing of my dear kindred spirit on earth.

So as I'm already on the verge of tears every second of every day, the news yesterday morning that a beautiful blogger named Kate of Chasing Rainbows said goodbye to her son that so many of us had been praying for - it seemed like more than anyone could bear. And then the explosions at the Boston Marathon brought yet another tragedy into more lives.

It's too much. It's all too much.

And so I pray. I pray for those hurting and for those who have lost. I pray for our world and for love to reign. I pray for peace and for comfort, for all and for me. And when I don't feel like I can pray, when I feel too angry or bitter or "what's the point?" to pray, I take a big breath, and take one more step, and say, "I know you can hear me, anyway, God, and I know you'll be there waiting when I can start up again."

And then I look outside and see new life. I look at my husband and my children and I see love and joy, and eventually a smile or a laugh comes from me. I remember that there is no sadness or pain in heaven, and that those I've lost are there together, and have faith that one day I'll see them again. And that brings me joy, too, in the sadness of missing them.

And I look for the helpers, and I look for ways to help. Whether that's donating money to charities providing aid, or directly to families, or being a shoulder for someone to cry on or cry with, or an ear to listen, or writing a note, or praying. Or doing more. Or all of the above. There is something I can do, no matter what my strength. Something you can do, no matter what your strength.

And this cycle starts all over again. Pray. Breathe. Take another step. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Pray. Breathe. Take another step ...

Cherish those you love, and let them know. Squeeze them tight and make some memories. 

And slowly, every day, there is light that comes out of the darkness. And there is morning after night. 

Praying for a Fellow Food Blogger

I intended to give you a food post today, but I'm just not able to today. I learned yesterday that someone in the food blogging community was hurting. Though I don't know her personally, she is in my Twitter world and I know she is close to my age and also has two daughters. Jennifer Perillo (of In Jennie's Kitchen) is well-known in this community of food bloggers - an ever-expanding community I am fairly new to but love. We all come from different families, friends, political and religious beliefs but we are united in our passion for good food and sharing that passion. I enjoy learning more about these fellow food bloggers and reading about their kitchen adventures.

Jennifer lost her husband to a sudden heart attack the other night. Suddenly, he was gone. And with so much life left ahead of him. I have been heartbroken for her since finding out. She posted a video on her blog yesterday of her husband and one of their daughters dancing, and titled it "one last dance." It took my breath away and I cried for hours after watching it.

This isn't the first time I've learned of tragedy hitting someone I don't personally know through Twitter, Facebook or some other method. I've certainly read several blog posts from fellow bloggers that have made me grieve for their loss of a loved one, be it family or friend. I have cried for them and prayed for their peace and comfort. And certainly there are many losses all around us every day, from life in general or political unrest, or whatever the reason. Certainly there are many in my thoughts and prayers these days, who have lost so much. Life can be tragic. And life can be beautiful.

This time, though, it has rocked me on a deeper level. Perhaps because of the common traits I mention above, she and her family are in my constant prayers and thoughts. I keep wondering how I'd cope if I lost the love of my life, and keep remembering that life can be short - so enjoy it in the moment. Each moment.

Say what you want about technology taking the personal out of life - and it can be true - but it's been my experience that these little (or big) communities within something larger, like Twitter, reach out to each other when a need arises. Words of comfort and condolence are provided in a constant stream to those in need. Or joy and celebration when someone has happy news. So many more people are praying and thinking about Jennifer and her family now because of it. I've already read some beautiful blog posts about her loss that put into words what so many of us are thinking.

Please keep Jennifer and her family in your prayers and your thoughts right now. And give a big hug to each of your loved ones around you right now.