I, like so many of you, have shed many tears over the last few days. There are no words to describe all the feelings I had as I learned of the horrors at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connnecticut on Friday. December 14, 2012 will always be remembered. The children. Teachers. Parents. Lost to a tragedy we will never be able to wrap our minds around.
Both of my girls are in elementary school. The youngest is the same age of many of those precious children who were lost to the world forever. All tragedies hit you hard, but as a parent, they hit you harder. This loss in Newtown affected me in a way I can't really describe. Minutes after learning what had happened, I wrote this to those in my close social media circle: "Tears flowing for the parents, children and teachers in Connecticut. I can't find any other words. Praying."
I wanted desperately to pick my girls up from school so I could just hold them. A couple of hours later, I wrote this: "I just can't stop crying. Nothing else matters but my family. Everything else is so trivial. Baking is the last thing I feel like doing and I desperately need a nap, but I'm making a snack through tears for my girls to have after school and I'm never letting them go. To hell with everything else."
This is how I still feel. I reluctantly dropped my girls off at school this morning and gave them an extra big, long squeeze. As they were getting ready for school and playing around and not doing what they were supposed to be doing, I began to get frustrated as usual but reminded myself, "I'd rather have this." I'm so thankful and blessed to have them waking up in their beds each morning. We don't know what each day holds and how long we have with those we love. We need to make the most of it.
To Newtown: I am praying for you. We are praying for you. When you can't find the strength, the heart, the will to pray, please know that we are saying prayers for you. We are wrapping you in virtual arms of love, wrapping you in our thoughts and prayers, holding space for you. You ARE NOT just another news item to us as we go about our day and you live in this tragedy, wondering how life can go on. We are there with you. We are weeping with you. We are praying that one day you will feel peace.